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""I
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Helping you to say "I Do"! |
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When Couples Talk (This article was written by Annie at our request, because we want to make sure you start your relationship on the right foot! With almost 30 years of marriage between them, Theresa and Karen know how important communication is at the beginning of your married life together and throughout the years.) Good communication in a relationship is more than just the words you use. It’s about how you treat each other. Think how you like to be treated when you’re talking to someone. You want the other person to listen to you like your opinions matter, right? Well, the person you’re about to marry wants the same thing.
For many newlyweds, the first year of marriage feels like a new stage in their relationship. That new stage can be very exciting, but also stressful sometimes. In fact, it’s not uncommon for newlyweds to have disagreements as they get used to the newness of making decisions as a married couple. This is true even for couples that live together before the wedding. What’s important is how you two talk through those disagreements. Nobody in the relationship should ever feel put down, silenced, or threatened by the other person’s words or actions during a disagreement. If this happens, it’s a sign that something about the way you two talk to each other isn’t loving or respectful. When a couple
communicates with each other in a loving, respectful way, both If you’re like most couples, you could use some help in the communication department. Here are some tips for talking to each other that you can start practicing as a couple today: Be upfront with each other. Three of the topics newlyweds fight about most are money, domestic chores, and sex. The time to start being open and honest about these and other important topics is now, before you’re married. Be specific. Discuss things like how bills will be handled, who will do what around the house, and what you’re both expecting from the sexual part of your relationship after you’re married. You might be surprised at each other’s answers! Talk about problems that can get your relationship into trouble.
And, if a fight gets hurtful, it’s always a good idea to say to each other, “I’m sorry.” Even if you don’t say it right away, say it as soon as you can. Talk about the things that bring you closer. One of the most powerful things you can communicate to each other is why you feel lucky to be together. This is a nice thing to do on your wedding day, but don’t stop there! Say what you appreciate about each other as often as possible for the rest of your lives together. Everyone likes to feel valued and special. This is why it feels so good to hear words like, “Thank you,” and, “I love you.” Remember, the best thing you can do for your marriage is be good to each other. Congratulations to you both! Annie Dennison, Ph.D., is a love life adviser, writer, and happy newlywed. She helps people find and keep happy-making relationships. You can visit her web site at www.smartatlove.com. If you find this article helpful, visit Annie's site for more great information on communication and relationships.
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Engaged and newly-married
couples often think that because they’re in love, communication should be
easy. The reality is, good communication takes some practice. Couples also
assume that once they’re married, they won’t have to tell each other what
they want and need in the relationship. Not true! You’ll definitely need to
talk to each other about what makes you feel closer and what pushes you
apart. 
people get a
chance to talk and listen. The time they set aside for discussing things
helps them make decisions together and handle problems before they get
bigger. Think about how you discuss important things in your relationship.
Can you two make decisions together and handle problems by talking to each
other? 
Problems and hurt
feelings don’t go away if you ignore them. You’ll need to work together to
change things that could push you apart. But, you have to agree to talk
about problems without turning the discussion into a personal attack.
You’ll know it’s a personal attack when somebody uses put-down words like
“stupid,” or “lazy,” and nobody feels safe talking.