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Etiquette: Wedding Invitations
Style of Wedding
Stationery
Printing
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The most formal type of wedding invitations
and social stationery is the
traditional engraved style. This is done with hand-made copperplate
engraving. It is the highest quality printing and the most
labor-intensive, so it is more expensive than other methods. This is
the way royal and presidential invitations and stationery are printed!
Engraved stationery has a raised front surface and an indented back; there
is no other way to achieve this effect on both sides of the paper.
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Letterpress printing similar to
engraving, except instead of an engraved copper plate, metal type is pressed
into the paper to create the text. This is an old-fashioned method
which is becoming more popular every year.
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The most common type of invitation printing
used now is thermography, which involves heating dye and powder to create an
ink which is raised off the page. The effect is similar to engraving
on the front, but smooth on the back, and it is shinier than engraving.
Fine business cards and stationery are printed with thermography as well.
This process allows the use of different colored inks, as well.
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Thermography is NOT the same as the flat
printing you get from your home computer and copier or local copy shop. Newspapers,
brochures and other items are also printed with flat or offset printing.
Photo invitations and envelope flaps are usually flat-printed
as well.
Ink
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The price quoted for invitations is generally
for black ink, which is also the most traditional.
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A wide range of colors is available for a
small extra charge. You may want to match the color of the ink and
envelope lining to your wedding colors.
Paper and Folding
- Custom-printed invitations will be printed on
premium card stock in a range of
colors. White and ivory are the most common and the most formal.
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The invitation itself can be a flat card,
which is the most traditional and formal; a half-fold
card; or a Z-fold card
 where
the top edge folds in to the middle. There are even seal-and-send
styles where the card forms the envelope as well; this is the most casual
style. Samples of specific styles and papers are generally available
for a small fee; just ask!
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Shower invitations can be as formal as
wedding invitations or much more casual. Many styles are available.
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Most brides also get some
personalized
stationery in a heavy paper or cardstock to use after the wedding, certainly
for thank-you notes. Cards are more popular than plain paper
stationery.
Design
- Beyond the printing and paper, the design motif of the
invitation sets the tone for
the wedding and gives your guests an idea of your style and the formality of
the event. (A casual invitation to a cathedral wedding would certainly
confuse your guests!)
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There is an almost overwhelming range of
options, from white-on-white embossed
designs to full-color photographs. You can probably find your favorite
motif, whether flowers, birds, bells, a couple, Disney characters (even
Cinderella!), Precious Moments, African-American Heritage, Hispanic themes
and wording, modern designs and retro humor.
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Are you having a theme wedding? There
are many western, beach/tropical, fairytale/princess and other theme
stationery sets from which to choose. Try searching the invitations by
keywords, or ask for help in finding them!
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One of the latest trends is invitations with
a ribbon holding together several layers; we have many in that style as
well. Matching the ribbon to your wedding colors is a nice touch.
Other of the "handmade" style invitations have vellum wraps.
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Some companies, including
Antonia Rose Printing,
offer wedding invitations custom printed with your photo or photographs on
them, for a truly personal look.
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You have the opportunity to match your
invitation design and colors to your wedding colors, plans and
personal style. If you have an idea about the kind of wedding you want
but find the selection overwhelming, we would be happy to narrow down the
options, finding five or ten that suit your style and preferences.
Just ask!
     
Wording of
Invitations/Announcements
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Historically, wedding invitations and
announcements came from the parents of the bride, as they were paying for
and hosting the wedding and reception.  Many people still choose to
follow this tradition, but almost every variation is seen today.
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INVITATIONS invite people to the wedding
and/or reception. ANNOUNCEMENTS are sent when
there is no party (such as an elopement) or to people unable to attend the
wedding. Both are traditional and appropriate depending on your
circumstance. You may have had a small ceremony elsewhere and plan a
big party later; then you would send a party invitation announcing your
wedding and inviting guests to celebrate it with you.
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There are many, many suggested wordings for
all occasions, including the complex family situations involving divorce
and/or remarriage, available at
www.VerseIt.com. Just keep the formality of the wording consistent
with the formality of your event.
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If you need personal advice or want
suggestions on wording your invitations or announcements, please contact us
and we will be happy to help you.
Reception Information
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If the reception is at the same location as
the wedding, the invitation text generally ends with a one-line note of
that, such as "Reception following service." This can be at the end of
the centered text or in the lower left corner of the invitation.
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Otherwise your reception information can be
printed on the lower left corner of
the invitation or put on a separate card. Putting it on the invitation
itself saves money, but it results in less space for your information and a
more cluttered appearance to the invitation, particularly if a lot of
information must be conveyed.
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If you are inviting some people to the
ceremony but not the reception, you will want to be sure to the put the
reception information on a separate card.
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If only a few people are invited to the
ceremony and more are invited to the reception, you can make the large
invitation the reception one and put the ceremony information on a smaller
card.
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Map cards and other information for
out-of-town guests, like hotel information, can be included in the envelope
as well.
Response Card
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It is extremely important to have a good idea
of how
many people are coming! The standard way to determine this is to send
out a separate response card, with a pre-addressed, stamped envelope, so the
guest just fills in the number attending and their name, and then drops it
in the mail.
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The response or RSVP card usually gives a
deadline for return of two to three weeks before the wedding; most caterers
want a final guest count about two weeks before the event.
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Most couples use this response card option,
either in the
form of a card inside an envelope or sometimes as a postcard, which is
cheaper to mail. Another choice is to enclose a pre-paid phone card
with your wedding information on it, asking guests to call in their
response.
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However you ask your guests to "Respond,
Please", be aware that a low return rate for responses seems to be the norm.
DO NOT assume people who did not return a response card are not coming or
you may wind up short of food! Allow some extra time for late
responses and be prepared to mobilize the family/friends grapevine to
determine the attendance plans of non-responders.
Menu Cards, Map Cards,
Place Cards, Programs and other items
When you are ordering your
invitations, consider whether you also will want printed menu cards, map
cards, place cards and/or programs. They are available in a variety of
designs, often matching or coordinating with your invitations.
Antonia Rose
Printing can print all of these for you. Check out our new
wedding program
fans, too--they are a favor and a program in one, and very popular for
summer weddings!
 
Addressing Envelopes
Handwriting
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Invitations are traditionally addressed by
hand in a calligraphy style. Any neat handwriting will do.
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A return address can be handwritten or
preprinted on the flap of the outside envelope. The return address
should match the wording: if the invitations are from the parents, their
address should be used.
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While return address labels might be
acceptable, it is still considered tacky in almost all circles to use labels
for the guest addresses. If the job of hand-addressing seems
overwhelming to you, you can order preprinted return addresses on your
envelopes and pay a calligrapher to do the rest. Or you could gather
some friends and have an envelope-addressing party! A final option
considered acceptable by some (but not all, so be warned!) is to use a nice
handwriting script font and address the envelopes with your computer
printer; this must be done on the envelopes, not on labels.
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You can order envelopes early to give
yourself extra time to address them It is a good idea in any case to
order your invitations at least 3-4 months before the wedding, so you have
plenty of time to get then addressed or even order more if you need to do
so.
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Antonia Rose Printing offers an
Addressing
Online service as well, where you can order your invitations and upload your
guest list; we will have them professionally handwritten and mailed for you!
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Finally, if you end up short an envelope or
two and need an emergency replacement, contact us! We have a selection
of the most common envelopes on hand and can get one out to you immediately
if necessary.
Outer
Envelope Wording
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Abbreviations other than Mr., Mrs. and Ms.
are avoided, including the words Doctor, street, avenue, one hundred
twenty-first, and so on. The actual numbers of the street address are
used:
Mr. Johannson
56 North Maple Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55101
Mr. and Mrs. (or Ms.) Jones
Ms. Ann Johnson
Mr. Peter Smith
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If you intend to invite an unmarried person
and an escort, it is best to send a separate invitation to the escort, if
possible.
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You must invite both spouses, fiancées and
members of couples who are living together or in a long-term relationship.
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Any children invited who are living at home
and over the age of 16-18 should also be listed on the outer envelope or
better yet sent their own invitation.
Inner Envelope Wording
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The inner envelope generally lists the first
names of the people invited and the names of any other family members
invited. Children, if invited, are generally listed with their first
names written out, in order of age from oldest to youngest:
Mr. and Mrs. Wilson
Thomas, John and Stephen
Doctor and Mrs. Rogers and family
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However, be aware that some guests may
loosely interpret this and you may have a stray aunt or cousin coming along
as well!
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If a single person is invited to bring an
escort and you do not have that person's name, as a last resort most people
use "and guest" after the single person's name.
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If the children's names or "and family" does
not appear on the inner envelope, children are NOT invited. However,
some guests may not understand this; consider whether you should spread the
news of your adult-only event through the grapevine as well. (It is
tacky to put "Adults only" on your invitation.)
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Be aware that it is not socially acceptable
and almost guarantees hurt feelings if some guests' children are invited and
others are not. The only exception is children of the wedding party
and those kids actually in the wedding.
Invitation Assembly
1) Address response envelopes (or have
calligrapher do it) - include return address if not imprinted on envelope.
2) Address outer envelopes (or have
calligrapher do it). DO NOT do this after stuffing the envelopes; the
writing can end up bumpy and the pressure may cause ink to transfer to
unwanted areas.
3) Put together one invitation set and take
it to the post office or weigh it on a scale to determine proper postage.
Don't forget to buy stamps for the response cards as well. There are
usually some lovely stamps from which to choose. You can also order
stamps online from the U.S. Postal Service.
4) Put stamps on the response envelopes and
the outer envelopes.
5) Fold invitations and response cards, if
needed.
6) Sort into sets, either all at once or
individually as you stuff the envelopes. Here is the proper way to
assemble them:
Folded Invitations:
The response card is laid face up on the
envelope, with the envelope flap hanging over the front of it. This
goes on top of the reception card. A map/directions card goes on top
of that, with church directions on top of reception directions, if
appropriate. Open the invitation and put the tissue over the text. 
Then the pile of insertions is placed over the tissue. This assembly
is put fold-side first, with the front of the invitation facing the back
(addressed) part of the inner envelope. The inner envelope, unsealed,
is then put with the flap to the back (addressed) part of the outer
envelope. If you do one and keep it handy as a reference, the process
gets easier as you go.
Card Invitations:
A liner is put over the text of the actual invitation.
Then enclosures are stacked on top of the card invitation, face up, as noted
above. The stack is placed with the left edge going into the envelope
first, facing backwards so the text is away from the flap. The inner
envelope is then put inside the outer one, with the flap to the back
(addressed) part of the outer envelope.
If this is just too confusing, you have three
options: Put them together however you like; go to
www.VerseIt.com and look at their
illustrated instructions, or contact us and we will walk you through it.
Seals
You can add a personalized or nonpersonalized
seal to the flap of the envelope as well, for a special touch. There
are many available seals to match or coordinate with a variety of
invitations.
 
Ordering/Mailing/Save
The Date
When to Order
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All of our wedding invitations ship within 48
hours. Even the slowest printers should have your invitations to you
within a month. However, addressing and assembling the invitations can
take a lot of time, and there is no reason to wait until you have a million
other things to do.
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We suggest ordering your invitations and
other social stationery you might need at least 2-4 months before the
wedding. You can certainly order it earlier, as soon as you have the
details nailed down.
When to Mail
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Invitations are mailed six to eight weeks
before the wedding date. The response card usually gives guests two
weeks to respond.
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Mailing any earlier than that is not
considered classy, and in fact can result in a lower response rate as guests
lose the invitations before they respond, thinking they have plenty of time. If you are concerned about your guests having
enough notice of the wedding, consider using "Save the Date" cards.
Save the Date Cards
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If you want to let people know about your
wedding before the invitations can be
sent, consider sending out a "Save the Date" card. This is a card, magnet or preprinted phone card which lets
people know the date of the big event. An invitation is then sent at
the usual time.
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This is also a fun way to spread the news
about your engagement, if you don't formally announce it other ways.
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A "Save the Date" need not be sent to
everyone who is invited to the wedding, but make sure everyone who gets one
is later invited.
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They are generally sent to close friends and
family when you want to ensure they will be able to make it on the big day.
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There is a large selection available at
Antonia Rose Printing if you think they might be appropriate for
your situation.
Most printers, including
Antonia Rose
Printing, can print all of your wedding items in 2-5 business days.
It is a good idea to order them early to avoid last minute rushes and give
yourself time, but if you are in a rush, we can get your printed items done
right away.
  
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""I
Do" In MN
